Thursday, July 31, 2008

freedom?

one more day of VBS... one more day. don't take me wrong here, i adore kids, but getting up at 7am over the summer to spend 4 hours with a bunch of screaming, running young kids gets tiring after awhile. i always prefer being one on one with someone... like talking to a kid who is lonely or wants his mommy... or making up little games to play with the shy little girls who don't always want to play with the other kids. i once was that shy kid. i understand. and it's so much fun to have conversations with four-yr-olds!... but what is so frustrating and infuriating is when a kid just won't cooperate. when a kid just refuses to listen. those kids are what make VBS a handful, a frustration, and a source of severe tiredness. i would love to have kids someday -- i just hope none of them turn out to be terrors.

Monday, July 28, 2008

one drop in the sea of a lifetime

what can it all mean, how with this help to shape me into who he wants me to be?
maybe it's just one drop in the sea of a lifetime,
but it's one little drop of me.
--and i can't help but wonder what it means.
at every turn, doors open and windows close, but where does this motion, this rhythm of life fit into the greater scheme of all eternity, humanity, and me?
since returning to the U.S., i have, without even trying, become involved with little kid ministries... it was just a phone call, a plea to help one sunday, and i'm suddenly on the "to call" list... so, naturally, that's where i spend my sunday mornings, before the second church service... with 4 year olds.... and i don't mind it in the least -- i love little kids.
...but then i get another call from the pastor of early childhood ministries asking me to help with VBS... maybe even being a teacher... i said no to the latter, but agreed to help out. ... so now i'm going to be spending my week as a teacher's assisstant for vacation bible school.
...oh yah... and i babysat saturday night. what's with all these connections? my family has never really been close to families with young kids -- at least since i was in high school, so i've only really babysat cousins... but it leads me to wonder... what does God have for me in all this? how is this experience, these open doors, going to play into the grand scheme of my life? what could he have for me, for this tapestry of me, that he is weaving such an interesting new color of thread into who i am?