Oh Daniel Powter...

I need your magic.  I feel like every time I listen to your song, my bad day gets better, or it never gets to be bad in the first place.  Right now I'm tired.  Mentally and physically, and though my day wasn't terrible, it was kind of disappointing and long.

So here goes.  In case you have never heard Daniel Powter's song Bad Day, here it is:

Musings le SEI

I may disagree with myself in the future, I do go back and forth on personality typing stuff - it's enough to drive me mad!  I keep thinking about how Myers-Briggs personality descriptions sometimes mention "preferred" types for relationships then follow with the caveat that two people of any personality preferences can build a healthy relationship.  Then, you swing on over to Socionics, where there is a whole theory of inter-type relationships.  I have perused these charts many times.  The MBTI personality type I most frequently get is ISFJ, but in socionics I tested as an ISFp or an SEI, a "Sensing Ethical Introvert", which makes sense because of the order of functions and the way the different theories choose the perception vs. judgement function.  The differing theories have different ideas about what the personality of my "perfect" match would be, and it seems that it would be interesting to uncover the reasons why and also to experiment with specimens of each of those types -- you know, see if guys with those personalities could actually be good for me.  Just deliver them to my door please!... oh.  You could just find me an ENTP.  according to Socionics, they are my perfect type match.  I'm curious if this is accurate.

The thing is, although it's easy to want personality typing to be some kind of formulaic way to weed out all the future duds in my life, or to find prince charming?, a person is so much more than the box that psychology puts him in.  So much more.  And relationships are not built on psychological compatibility, but on an every day choosing to love someone and to make the relationship work, not just work, but flourish -- with a lot of humility and a lot of patience... and a lot of communication.  Now, these things may be easier between some people than others, and some of that could have to do with personality types, but all relationships require these regardless.

Beyond the formula of personality matches, I'm not convinced that a.) a person's personality is totally fixed, b.) that each preference is mutually exclusive of the other options, c.) probably a lot of other things, but it's all a jumble.  Everyone is a mixture of all the traits and preferences of personality.  Introverts often carry some extroverted traits.  Extroverts can carry some introverted traits.  E over I is just a person's preference.  And it could just be a preference during the testing based on factors regarding the person's state of mind.  I know that I test differently depending on whether I feel like I have something to prove or not.  The bad thing is that I know how most questions on a personality test relate to the letters given for preference, so since I heavily analyze the test and find it hard to discover what the true answers may be for me, I don't fully trust my responses.  I'm not convinced that self analysis is the best way to discover personality anyway.  What if I think that INTPs are really cool?  Then I find a way to test like an INTP.  I begin to believe I'm an INTP.  I read up on INTPs and try to mimic their characteristics.  Does this make me an INTP?  No.  I'm not sure what the point of that was, but there was one in there somewhere.




Ooh!  One last point I have contemplated.  If, say, I am not a strong introvert, not a strong sensor, not a strong feeler, and not a strong judger, does it not seem that I could be very similar, personality-wise, to someone who was my "opposite" but also was not strong in each category?  So... an ENTP and an ISFJ could appear similar if they did not strongly prefer each trait?  Must ponder.

//end of musings for now.  they will continue on in my head.

state of room, state of mind

It's funny how much the state of my room is indicative of the state of my mind.  I really do enjoy a clean space, which may be hard to believe on any random day walking in and seeing two easels set up with art on them -- one floor and one desk easel, along with paints strewn across my desk and the beginnings of ideas in physical form filling my art making space.  Then, you look to the floor where storage containers have been opened and left, more ideas that are trying to be worked through but haven't quite made it, remnants of crazed rummaging through old trinkets for inspiration.  A laundry basket may sit in the middle of the floor full of clothes -- and sometimes it's hard to remember if they're clean or not.  Shoes and clothes may lie haphazardly in piles, indicative of my attempts to purge my wardrobe of unwanted things, and also outfit crafting.  Basically, if you walked into my room a few days ago you may have tripped and fallen or at least found it a bit of a maze and a walking disaster -- though it truly looked like an artist's den with all the works in progress.

For weeks at a time I don't have the energy or the desire to clean, but I have the drive to create stuff which often leads to clutter.  Then, and this day does eventually come, my head finally feels clear and I find myself sorting out the clutter, rearranging furniture and starting fresh.  I would like to get to a point where my space is always clean, or at least the floor always clear, but I'm not there right now.  If my room is a mess, my mind is probably a mess -- full of ideas and dreams, worries, and future wonders.  It's when it is blissfully clear that I feel the urge to also make my space clear.

The desire to clean struck yesterday and my room is again in a relative state of clean.