the observer.

Being an observer is one of the reasons, I believe, that I actually like working in retail.  I greet hundreds of people every day, show them merchandise, help them purchase it -- and I get to observe them, how they interact with the world, with their families and friends, with my coworkers, with me.  It is often a joy, though sometimes a frustration.  It is always interesting to get a glimpse into other worlds, even a small glimpse.  Many of these people greet me by name now, without even reading my name tag.  I only know a few of them by name in return, though I recognize many faces and make an effort to remember.  I try to remember small details that make a person feel appreciated, because small things are often the most important, or at least valued and cherished.

I am also an observer outside of my job.  I observe the way people interact in daily life, in love, in everything.  I would like to think I am a lifelong learner -- not necessarily of books and theories, though I do enjoy those, but of people, relationships, and interactions.

An interesting story that made me chuckle, and still does, which is why I remember it and am repeating it here:

I was checking out a guest at the registers, I believe she was purchasing some stuff for a boy scout troop, like for making miniature flag poles or something.  When she was finished I said my usual goodbye, you know, "alright, well have a nice day!"... or something along those lines, and she stopped, a little awkwardly, and said "God loves you!"  I was slightly taken aback, I don't usually have customers try to witness to me, but I responded a second later, "You know, God loves you too!"... and I don't think she knew what to do with my response, like she had to one up it or something, so she replied, "Well, God loves you more!"

The full exchange:

Customer: "God loves you!"
Me: "God loves you too!"
Customer: "Well, he loves you more!
Me: "....ummm?..."
Customer: (trying to explain?) "I was his favorite last week"
Me: "So, what, it's my turn?"

...It was possibly very sweet of her, but not very theologically sound.  Though, I appreciate her courage in trying to witness to a complete stranger, especially since it was a slightly awkward/unnatural exchange.

life update.

So much has happened, in so little time.  I look back to even a year ago and I see how much I've grown up, and it's weird.  I still don't know what I want out of life, but sometimes it's better to sit back and smell the flowers for awhile.  It's good to have goals, but I think it's also important to live a little, to not make those goals the entire driving force of life.  I don't want to look back and realize that in the rush to move life along, I missed something or someone.  Sometimes I like to list the firsts I have accomplished in a year.  This last year, I had my first promotion at a job, I had my first relationship, am going through my first break up, had some firsts I don't particularly want to mention... got my first moving violation.  (I had my first and only parking ticket for parking outside of my own house in California a few years ago... so this wasn't my first ticket, just my first, well, speeding ticket.)  Last year, I painted my room for the first time ever.  This week, I repainted part of it.  I sent something as classified mail for the first time... and took a driver's safety course for the first time.  (Ah, Texas and getting rid of speeding tickets.)  I also went to the emergency room for the first time on July 4.  Not my emergency, but my dad's.  He is doing much better.  For the first time ever, also, I have had to fight with bed bugs.  I have never dealt with these before and they are the most annoying creatures on the planet.  My hand and arm were covered with bites this morning.  I have been washing my sheets almost daily, constantly cleaning, and sprinkling/dumping diatomaceous earth in select spots around my bed and room.  I hate this and I hate them with a passion.  I declare war.  And I plan to win.

I want to be somebody's dream girl.