contentment and desire

this week has been filled with conference sessions, all dealing with "sex and the soul." that was the topic biola chose for its annual torrey conference which i, being a student here, am required to attend. so far i have been to eight of the ten sessions with two more tomorrow. i thought it would be good to write and process all i have been hearing and contemplating through this time. i really appreciated most of what the speakers had to say -- the only complaint would be in the way some things were said, in ways that i found unneccesary or that i disagreed slightly with the way an idea was presented. Don't take this to mean that I disagreed with the messages they were trying to get across to us -- i totally did. i've heard those messages my whole life, or at least most of them. the sessions dealing with homosexuality i had only had covered for me more recently in my ethics class at faith academy. the section, however, that spoke the most to me was the section this morning about emotional chastity. that really is a difficult topic for women. every woman desires to be loved and delighted in, and when we find men who are willing to be our friends and who we find "delighting" in us, we often find ourselves (or i do, maybe i should be more careful and not umbrella things so frequently), especially if we already had a pre-disposition to like the guy, taking ownership of him. To our friends we call him "my guy" and become possessive. The possessivity takes hold in our minds and becomes an obsession. Soon "my guy" becomes more to me than a friend emotionally while outwardly still remaining as "just my friend" and in the meantime, guys, clueless as they tend to be, have no idea what's going on... and if that man goes off and finds himself a girlfriend (we're always JUST the friend, afterall), then we find ourselves crushed beyond belief, because we have to emotionally break up with him... and again, the guy is totally clueless to this and doesn't understand why him getting a girlfriend injured your friendship. So... that wasn't totally what the speaker was saying about emotional chastity, but that kind of scenario is what the talk reminded me of. oh! and if you identify with that, listen to the song "Boys with Girlfriends" by meiko....

When I first met you I knew you were the one
'Til you took me home and I met her
She had your boxers on
She was listening to your song
And I thought right then that you had everything

But I knew she was jealous from the start
Yeah
I knew she was jealous from the start

'Cause I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends
Oh
I know better than that
I know better
You play the victim and I'll be the bad guy
I know better than that
I know better

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh

We started hanging around after nine
I could've sworn that I was yours
You looked at me and said, "It's a little too late for bed"
We went to the hotel and talked about everything

But I knew she was jealous from the start
Yeah

...etc.
I knew she was jealous from the start

...anyway... so... to go to the actual label of this post...
we are told to be content where we are, yet there is the constant desire for relationship and intimacy... and despite the conference, i don't really feel the question of how to live a healthy and balanced life with those two things... doesn't desire show a lack of contentment because we are wanting something more than that which we have? and if we are too content, then how will we ever branch out and become dynamic women who men will want to marry?
just some thoughts...

jen