this year, 2008, has been a very hard year for me.
transition is never a good thing.
transition = stress.
i've never been a huge fan of major life changes,
yet major life changes are my life.
...so i guess they've ironically been a big fan of me.
it feels like i have this formula worked out for change or something,
yet it isn't quite working this time -- not really, because part of the
"formula" is that i adjust to this place FOR A YEAR. but face it, i'll be here a lot longer than that. i don't like to think i'm bitter... or frustrated... yet i've not really been that fun of a person at times this year. i want to be happy and believe that everything will be amazing, but as much as i'd like to believe i've moved on, i haven't, and i find it hard to be. one nice thing about facing this thing of major life changes more than once is that i understand my patterns of coping with said change -- for instance, i understand that i am slow to consider new people my friends when i move to new places -- because my definition of "friendship" is very refined... friendship is more than having met a person -- it's knowing someone... and getting along with them/understanding them on some level. i also understand that i value all my friendships a LOT... and tend to keep them as a safety net -- probably why i'm on facebook so often, and why it bugs me when no one attempts to show me that i exist in their memory for days at a time.
...yet, following my same "patterns" i'll move on sometime in the next semester and next year I'll make new friends who will be my "best friends" until we part ways. there are exceptions to these patterns... but right now i just feel like this is my freshman year of high school all over again... except i'm older, less stupid, and have just a bit more to stress over in life.
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