coming home

I think it was good for me to come home this Christmas - good to see my parents again, good to be reunited as a family. I tried to come with few expectations so I would not be disappointed and yet, I think in my heart I still had certain hopes that I am slowly letting go of. I still have several weeks left here, so it's not all over yet, but I am trying not to have false expectations. My parents, since I graduated from high school have been house-sitting for people, so each year they have lived in a new house. The house, thus, that I came "home" to I had never actually been to before, and the dog I came home to was not ours. I found out that our dog, Telly, actually passed away last year. We gave her away before I left for college, but I assumed all was still well. Although I have tried not to have any expectations about seeing all my dear friends from high school again - since we all dispersed across the globe following graduation, a part of me has still hoped. Since being back I have seen several adults I know and was delighted to see them, but though I have heard rumor of friends being back to visit, I have yet to see anyone. I plan to see a good friend next Saturday for her one day in the city, but other than that I have no expectations of seeing anyone. I think I'm getting to the point where outwardly I am choosing not to care, though inwardly it sucks. I think, though, that it will give me new perspective on being in college... it will help me to remember where I am and where my friendship priorities should lie - in the now, not attempting to live in the past or unite my past and present. As it is, college has changed me so much - I even wonder if things could pick up again where they left off were I to see some old friends again.

On another note, I decided to join Hart in the reading of the Bible in a year. If anyone wants to join us, I would be delighted to give you a list of the readings for the days and discuss. :)

Jen