to be stunning

Wow.  My 101st post.  Maybe I'm actually getting the hang of this blogging thing.

This morning I'm thinking a lot about something I don't really talk much about because it's a sensitive topic for women... or maybe people in general who face any kind of struggle with it.  I've always had some issues with body image and weight - particularly weight, because I think I look frickin' awesome, I would just look frickin' awesomer at 135-140 lbs.  I've decided that one of my goals in life is to be absolutely stunning.  Stunning personality, stunning looks, stunning life -- to be someone that others look at and have to take a half step back (almost falling) and go "woah!".  Well, college totally ruined that with the freshman 15 that for me became the like freshman 20 or 30 (I don't know, I didn't have a scale)... and then my sophomore year I got up to 200 lbs.  (actually probably 205 or something, but I was completely horrified by this)  Basically, my life was a whirlwind of crazy and I didn't know how to cope with it.  And we had a fully stocked buffet style cafeteria where I was required to have a meal plan.  You know, living on my own and having to buy all my own food would do wonders for my waistline.  Moving home has done wonders.  Having a job that keeps me busy has done wonders.  Leaving the stress of school behind has helped, too.  Anyway, I write, because in the last two or three years, I have lost about 20 lbs - a little more possibly depending on how high I actually got in 2009/2010 - maybe even 25 lbs?!?.  I really don't like weight to be a main life focus so I rarely admit to people that I actually think about it, but I would like to be a fit person - it's part of the stunning goal.  In the last couple weeks I finally broke 180 - in the lower direction. (I dropped to 179.8)  Today I reached a new low.  I am excited to keep seeing the numbers drop.  It's a slow process, but thankfully it's been a steady one, and with this sort of thing to actually be a real life changing forever thing, it needs to be slow.