a bit too much space?

I don't like the space between people.  I'm not talking about physical space, but an emotional and relational space.  I give information and ask questions seeking to know better and be known, to make friends and try to be a friend.  In some groups this is easy, in others not so.  I know that it is partially a TCK thing, this desire to go deep quickly, and that perhaps not everyone shares that same desire.  But that sort of sucks sometimes.  I don't mean like becoming intimate with someone, but just the basics of getting to know and becoming friends with them.

I am the queen of wanting to be closest with those who are farthest away, so I know I'm not always the best at, where I'm at, seeking people out and being a friend.  The queen of this you ask?  Yes.  I say this because I fell in like with someone a long time ago - we split ways, but I wasn't able to get him out of my head.  Then we see each other again, intentionally, and it started this closer friendship that has become more than that.  And somehow I don't mind that it's a long distance thing, because I'd rather have him in my life far away than not at all, and there is always the possibility of making distance disappear.

I am also the queen of wanting to be closest to those who are elsewhere because I want to be elsewhere.  I don't love Dallas.  It's something maybe I could grow to love, but I have no roots here.  Roots?  But you're an MK!  Yeah.  I have roots places.  The strongest ones were in the Philippines, though those have pretty much died by now.  The next strongest were in California, and those are still sometimes beckoning me to return.  In California I had extended family, my parent's home church, and my alma mater.  Here, I have my parents and my sister.  I love them, but I haven't yet grown to love the place.

I think if I am closest to those farthest away I can dream up trips to leave where I am and have the possibility of going places and knowing people there, regardless if the intention was to visit or not.

I tried to turn this blog into an arts and crafts thing, and I don't mind blogging about that from time to time, but that's not what my heart wants to write about.  My heart wants to write about interpersonal relationships and growing up across cultures and how I manage to cope with these.  So know that I will continue to post about the art stuff, but also throw in these personal brain processes as well.