not really a poem

I've heard I need
to take time to grieve
to feel and believe
that something great is coming soon.
And I thought I had --
and I thought life was ok,
but these tears still stain my eyes
and maybe I'm listening to lies
or maybe just feel so alone
out here in my own little zone
just me.
I know there's a great God above
who showers me with lots of love
but I'm feeling left out of this thing called life
or maybe had a wrong idea of what it'd be like.
looking for people who I call a friend
not just at arms length but
jumping with me into the deep questions of life
walking with me through mundane and stupid things
maybe like trying things for the first time.
I hate trying new things alone.
Or doing things, in general, alone.
I might be an introvert,
but I do nothing because there's no one to do something with.
so I spend so many hours at work or at a computer screen,
wanting to do something but not knowing who I can call on
to do it with.