so, I guess I was inspired today by having an... average day. I played an incredible game of bowling, but after that my day slowly went downhill... I guess cuz I was tired and not feeling the greatest.
anyway... after math with prof. Kwak I found that I had an extra 15 minutes cuz we were let out early, and so I had a whole 30 minutes to kill before Foundations...
so I tried calling steph... but no answer.
then I called Lisa... but she was in the caf. at dinner... and I just felt this huge wave of emotion and loneliness overtake me... so I went to the tables by the Talon between the business building and the neighborhood street and just sat at a table and wrote. It was basically spill-time with God... and I thought it would be good to share those thoughts here, as well... kind of to let people know what's been on my mind, and get some kind of input or engage in a dialogue of sorts.
"...I'm in a weird mood that makes me feel like an idiot with every small move I make. It was cool doing well in bowling today! But it felt like everything went downhill from there. I really want to feel your presence in a daily - always there - kind of way. I feel so alone, yet I know I'm so loved, beyond measure, the world just isn't about me. [slight tangent with a point] Why do people waste their time discussing baseball, like the guys to my right, when being a fan of baseball is such a fleeting pursuit? Why do people spend so little time discussing eternity and those things that really matter? All we talk about on a daily basis is what we HAVE to do, the weather, and things that will fade with time. We even find it appropriate to discuss "crushes" and the hoped romances based on shallow ideals rather than traits that really matter. Maybe I'm being cynical right now, but maybe I just long for a life filled with you, seeking you, and not getting caught up in frivolous things that eat away at a life un-lived that could have been - could have been beautiful and lived to the fullest..."
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