running away

I can't help but wonder if the constant desire to relocate at least now in life, as a college graduate trying to figure out how to be an adult, is really me wanting to run away from being an adult.  I think about Never never land and the desire to never grow up, to never take on the responsibilities of adulthood.  It also goes back to the knight in shining armor riding up on a white horse and riding off with me into the sunset -- "and they lived happily ever after" implies a blissful, responsibility-free existence.  I want to be independent, but I don't care for the added responsibility.  I want to plant roots, but when I get to a certain point in my friendships I'm scared for them to get deeper.  I want to be known, but I am also terrified to let people really know me.  I want to make a difference in the world, but I'm scared to take the first steps in those directions.  For lack of knowing that something will work out perfectly, I paralyze myself and say, "this is good enough!"  But it clearly is not good enough, because there I feel a constant restlessness.  A restlessness to keep moving forward, not back.  A restlessness to not stay tied down to what is ok, but to surge forward and seek what is exceptional.  Seeking the exceptional is not running away from growing up, but rather running towards it.  The problem is that though I have the desire to seek the exceptional, I find myself shrinking back and running away from that desire.

A breakdown.  I guess life goals might clarify some of this internal pull.  In my life I would like to teach at some point, and I would like to receive proper training for teaching.  I would like to spend some time in foreign countries.  I would like to help people and work in a not-for-profit setting.  I would like to study psychology and art therapy.  I would like to develop strong friendships with a few wonderful people and have a wide net of acquaintances.  I would like to meet a godly man who would become one of these inner circle good friends and would like to eventually date him and marry him, to let him be a support system for me in all my endeavors, and me for him in all of his. 

Right now I am hired to teach creative classes at a craft store, though I haven't had any students yet -- and I don't feel properly trained for this position.  I have applied to teach English overseas and may be accepted to move and work in Mongolia for 11 months doing this, though there is a several thousand dollar sum I have to trust that God will provide for me to fund this endeavor.  I am currently working as a cashier doing retail, in a very much for-profit setting, which does not feel as fulfilling as it seems an altruistic career would.  I am not aware of schools in my area that offer the psychology classes I need at reasonable prices.  Most (if not all) art therapy schools require 12-18 units of psychology courses for me to be accepted.  I have 3 units that counted towards my BFA.  Those were from my AP test score.  I feel like I have in the past had small circles of great friends, but every time I move these friendships go from great to good, and after that they end up just being acquaintances until we completely lose touch.  I don't know anyone here well enough to have an inner circle of great friends.  Hence, there are no boys in this inner circle.
I feel like everything I most want in life is currently out of reach... the things that I do have right now are not exact fits for me.  I am not content.  Should I be content with ok or is it ok for me to want awesome?