Sunday, April 21, 2013

while on caffeine...

This evening I hung out with people in an apartment watching 80s movies.  Awesome.  I probably drank four cups of coffee.  Then I drove 25 miles home.  I learned that driving on caffeine when my body is only tricked into thinking it's awake is a kind of scary thing.  Also, my tank was low, and I didn't want to stop for gas.  It requires much more focus than my typical to-and-from work autopilot.  I don't know what it's like to be drunk, but I'm sure that driving on caffeine and tired has at least a minorly similar effect.  It's just harder to concentrate on driving when I'm in a state where I can't fully focus... and if I am having trouble focusing it takes that much more energy to actually focus.

Age came up again tonight and I keep wondering why I always feel like I have to prove myself to be my age or older -- I didn't have to, and that wasn't really my focus, I just thought about it again.  It's like age is somehow an achievement.  Also, I'm not entirely sure what it means to be 23.  How am I supposed to act to be my age?  How am I supposed to look?  Why do people who come into my workplace think I'm in high school when I look at high school kids and they seem just like that to me - kids.  (Besides the fact that to even have my job I have to be at least 18.)  Why do I love throwing the "when I was in college" thing out there?  Oh wait, I do actually know that one -- Yes, ma'am, I may look 15 to you, but somehow I already graduated high school, and graduated college with... what was that?  a four year degree?  I'm either older than you think or I'm really dang smart... you choose. ;)

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