momentary musings

So, letting down walls is both freeing and frightening, both in the moment and after.  I keep feeling the need for reassurance that somehow this wasn't all a crazy dream or twisted nightmare.  It flashed like the blink of an eye, and now life appears to have returned to normal.  I find myself wondering if I should have kept walls up longer, been more a mystery and less a me, maybe never stuck my toe in the water to see how it might feel.  I'm tired of staying silent and letting life live me, I'm meant to live life.