Monday, January 18, 2016

wishing to dialogue... with you

I want to get out of my head and dialogue with people about life, art, trauma healing, God, where he has led me and where he is leading.  I crave intentional community where I can do this, but I know that my immediate reaction is to dive into deep topics with people I may only barely know, because the process of getting to know someone in this culture takes so long.  I want deep, late night conversations with people who can hold their end of the discussion and seek beauty in tragedy, cosmos in chaos, not just be silent while I rant and rave about topics perhaps not understood, or that perhaps someone finds un-interesting.  (I know, that seems hardly possible.)

I am on an adventure of seeking the will of God, whatever that may be.  Right now I am doing this by taking a graduate level course on using Arts in Trauma Healing.  I am convinced that God created me for a purpose and created me with specific desires and competencies for a reason.  In undergrad I studied Studio Arts and Biblical & Theological Studies.  Right now I'm taking a class that combines both of these for the purpose of trauma healing.  I don't know if God is calling me to work with trauma healing, but I feel that he is calling me to use art for his glory, and trauma is such a common part of life experience that it would be negligent not to study how to work with its victims.

I know I am not alone - God is always here, my housemates are here, my family is here, friends are here in varies states of presence - meaning that some are here physically, some emotionally, some a phone call or facebook message away, most scattered across the globe.  Yet, I feel alone sometimes, and I don't know how to tell people that or how to seek people out when I need them.  Online interactions are not enough for true living.

No comments: